Draco vs the Kitchen
by Life-Between-Limbo
Summary: Harry wins a free trip for two to Australia in the muggle newspaper... and convinces Draco to go with him. Join them on their journey as Draco encounters many a muggle item, their first stop, Harry's kitchen!


Shaed of Life-Between-Limbo presents…

The First instalment of "Draco vs. the Muggle World"-

Draco vs. the Kitchen!

Where he encounters terrifying beasts such as the microwave the refrigerator and *gasp* _the stove._

_**Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun.**_

And because we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and we want as many readers as possible we're leaving the relationship between these two _up to you._ They DO end up rooming together but whether or not they are just friends or lovers is entirely up to you because it can be read either way. But this is HUMOUR, so don't go taking this SERIOUSLY. (Read our profile page for more details)

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><p>"…Potter?"<p>

"Yes?"

"…What is this?"

Harry sighed. "It's a fridge."

"Oh."

Draco was silent for a few moments.

"What does it do?"

Another sigh.

"It keeps food cold."

"Why?"

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation suddenly realising too late that this was _not _a good idea.

"Because Muggles can't use magic to keep their food cold _ergo_, they use a fridge."

Draco looked over the large white appliance, as though he were sizing it up. "Well I don't like it."

Harry didn't even bother to sigh this time. "Of course you don't. Now come over here and help me with the eggs."

Draco sauntered over to the counter where Harry was currently whisking a bowl full of eggs. Today, Harry had decided to teach Malfoy how to cook Pancakes. A food that Draco – to Harry's complete and utter shock – had never tried.

And so far, it wasn't going well.

"Could you put some flour into this while I whisk?" Harry asked him, not taking his eyes off the bowl for a second. Draco stared at the white bags lined up on the shelf above the counter. There was nothing _but _white bags.

"Which one is the flour?" Harry stopped for a moment to glance up before going back to his whisking.

"I don't know, maybe it's the bag with the word 'Flour' written in bold print." Harry smirked at Draco's disgruntled look of contempt.

"I _knew _that." He muttered, grabbing the bag and plonking it down into the countertop, effectively causing the flour in the bag to poof out of the top and right into his face, instantly freaking him out.

"WHATTHEHELLISTHISGETITOFFIT'_OFF!_"

While Draco stumbled around the kitchen convinced that the flour was attempting to devour his face, Harry merely pissed himself laughing.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY POTTER!"

Harry managed to compose himself enough to snatch up the cloth he had sitting on the oven handle and grabbed hold of Malfoy's shoulder. "Here." He wiped the flour from Draco's eyes before shoving the cloth into his hands. "You can clean the rest up by yourself can't you?" Malfoy merely glared at him before leaning over the sink and rubbing the rest of the white powder off his face.

"This is your fault, I hope you know."

Harry pulled a measuring cup from one of the draws and started adding flour to the mix of whisked egg. "Of course it is. And by the way, your tea's probably cold by now."

"What tea?"

"The tea that I'd made earlier when you first came over. I _told _you it was ready, but you seemed more interested in holding a stare off with my fridge."

Draco scowled and picked up the mug of cold tea that Harry pointed out to him. "Make me another then."

Harry scoffed. "No, make it yourself." He watched with interest as Draco looked over towards the electronic _Muggle _kettle in something akin to fear. "…Or you could just heat it up?"

Draco gave him an odd look. "But I thought you said you didn't want to use magic for today?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then _how_ am I supposed to heat it up without the aid of my wand?" Draco asked bemusedly.

Harry motioned with his head towards a small metal box with numbers on the side as he continued to mix the flour and other ingredients into the pancake mix. "Use the microwave."

Malfoy eyed the microwave distrustfully before thrusting the mug into Harry's face. "You do it."

Harry just smirked, clearly enjoying Malfoy's discomfort. "Fine, but only if you cook the mix for me, I'm supposed to be teaching you but all you've done so far is complain while I do all the work." Harry took the mug from Draco's hand and stuck it in the microwave. Draco, on the other hand, stared at the bowl of goo that was supposed to be his breakfast. He stared at it in distaste before his stomach rumbled hungrily.

"So, I just put it in here?" he inquired, picking up the pan that Harry had set out for him.

"Yes, but only put a LITTLE splodge of it, and then put another splodge on the other side of the pan, and another if it'll fit. Then you turn on the stove, that's the-"

"Yes, yes, yes I KNOW what a _stove _is, Potter." Malfoy broke in, annoyed by Harry's tone. He didn't need to speak to him like a _child._

Draco poured three blobs of pancake mix into the pan (and he did so rather nicely if he did say so himself) before promptly sticking the pan into the oven.

"How do I turn it on?"

Harry's stare didn't leave the mug circling the inside of the microwave in what looked like a bizarre ceramic ballet dance. "Just turn the middle nob on the front."

Draco did so but then shrieked in surprise as it made a large **snapping **sound and a small flame lit up on the top of the stove underneath one of those odd little round things.

Harry started in surprise at the noise and turned around to be met instantly with a terrified blonde clinging to his frame.

"'!"

Harry - quite used to Draco's reactions by now – carefully peeled the former Slytherin off him before making his way over to the stove. He peered at it in amusement for a few moments before crossing his arms.

"What is the pan doing here?" he asked, trying his damn hardest to hold back a smile.

Malfoy brushed invisible dirt off his suit before replying. "Cooking, what does it look like?"

Harry's face contorted in his failing attempts to remain straight faced. "Draco, this isn't the stove, this is the oven." He pointed to the little black rings on the top of the Muggle appliance. "_That's _the stove. And it wasn't trying to kill you." Harry gave the nob a twist and the snapping sound echoed around the flat once again, scaring the bejeebers out of Draco.

Once again, Harry was peeling the blonde off himself.

"Look, it _isn't _going to hurt you! That's just the spark lighting up the gas." He turned it on again and Draco watched in apprehension as the **snapping** sound came back and a ring of fire lit up around the little black disk. "You see?"

Draco gave Harry's smirking face the patented Malfoy Glare™.

It took a little coaxing but eventually Harry managed to convince Malfoy to flip a couple of the pancakes and soon the aroma a freshly cooked pancakes was wafting through the flat. When they had un-magically conjured up a couple of dozen, Harry brought out multiple jars of jam, honey, golden syrup and butter.

Draco neatly piled up a small stack of perfectly round pancakes and spread an even amount of butter and syrup over the top before carefully slicing a small piece off and popping it in his mouth, chewing delicately.

Across the table, Harry has just inhaled his seventh pancake.

"You know Potter, there is this thing called _chewing_."

"Shud up, Ma-foy." Harry grumbled through a mouth full of pancake. Before Draco could say anything further about Harry's atrocious table manners, the former Gryffindor spoke up again, remembering to actually swallow his food before speaking. "Are you doing anything next month?"

Draco glanced up before slicing off another piece of his breakfast. "No, why do you ask?"

"Because I entered this competition in the newspaper and won a free trip to Australia."

"Australia? Why the bloody Hell would anybody want to go there? It's just desert and weird animals."

"You're missing the point." Harry argued exasperatedly. "Look, I won this trip but the problem is it's a trip for two, and I don't have anyone to go with me."

"What about the Weasel girl?" Draco inquired.

The 'Are you freaking INSANE?' look on Harry's face could've been read by a blind person.

"Do you NOT remember our last year of Hogwarts? Did you NOT hear what happened?"

Draco flinched, of course he heard. Everybody from Hogwarts to Surrey probably heard that girl.

"I thought you two made up."

"She isn't throwing shoes at my head whenever she sees me anymore, if that's what you mean."

"Well what about Granger and Weasley?"

"They're on their _honeymoon._" Harry replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which – in Draco's opinion – it _wasn't._

"So… who are you going to take…" Draco began to ask as he finished off the last of his pancake stack but he faltered as he met Harry's stare. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because no, that's why."

"Oh come _on, _Draco!"

"_No, _Potter. I refuse to step foot into a country where they ride live animals to school."

"That's a _myth, _and you know it."

"_NO, _Potter!"

"Please?"

"…"

"I won't have anyone to go with otherwise, besides, I thought you said Pansy was getting suspiciously close to you recently. Weren't you afraid she was going to… ask you something?" Harry smirked as the colour drained from Malfoy's face. "…Well?"

"I would NOT marry that minx if she was the last female alive. The Malfoy line could die happily."

"So you'll go with me?"

"…Potter, this is so sudden." Malfoy raised a hand to his chest as his eyes widened. "I don't think our relationship is ready for this-"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up Malfoy, will you come or not?"

Draco leaned his chin on his folded hands in thought. "Fine, but this is just to avoid Pansy, don't think I'm doing this just to be nice, because I'm _not._"

Harry huffed in relief. "_THANK you_…"

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><p>See our profile page for the next chapter... DO NOT ADD THIS TO YOU STORY ALERT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ADDED AS A SEPARATE FANFIC.<p> 


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